As a patriotic individual, I felt it was my duty to comment on the 2012 presidential election that took place today. Unfortunately, I could not wait to post it. They won’t know who won until, like, 9 o’clock. I will be far too tired to write about the purple mountain’s majesty or fruited plains by […]
With only two days to go before the Presidential Election Day, all eyes are on the polls as people search for the answers to the important questions. Who will have the chance to guide the United States into the coming apocalyptic future? Who will become the answer to a trivia question about former presidential candidates? […]
For those who have not heard, former Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin is in some hot water. It seems that Palin took to her Facebook to say “President Obama’s shuck and jive shtick with these Benghazi lies must end…” This in itself would not be a big deal if it wasn’t for the fact that “Shuck and […]
Tonight marked the second debate between President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, his opponent in this presidential race. While voting is an important civic duty, I realize that some people might have been busy and unable to watch the debate. Fortunately, I have your back. I watched the debate this evening and have provided a […]
Whenever someone begins to discuss politics, it is a certainty that the conversation will drift into several different topics. Firstly, people will talk about the economy. They will say things about debt and tax rates and China. One person will say that someone who is in power has not helped the debt or tax rates […]
My wife and I just had a fight. Normally, this would be the part where I try to convince myself it was her fault. On her end, she is no doubt doing the same. This time, though, neither one of us is to blame. This time, it’s all Snoop Dogg’s fault. Like every married fight, […]
Dear Mitt Romney, With the election just four months away, its time to pick your vice president. I have heard a lot of names thrown around like Paul Ryan (No good. Two first names.), David Petraeus (Serious danger of misspelling last name on campaign materials), and Chris Christy (Sounds like a superhero alter ego) amongst […]
Dear Mitt Romney, I want to start things off by saying congratulations to you. You are now officially the Republican presidential candidate! By earning the Republican nomination for president, you have joined the illustrious ranks of former nominees such as Alf Landon, Wendell Willkie, John C. Fremont, and Thomas E. Dewey. Clearly, with this nomination, […]
It is now 9:15 p.m. 15 hours ago, I was getting out of bed. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, put on some deodorant. After my morning destinking, I got prepared for another day of work. In between then and now, though, nothing happened. I don’t know how you can go a full 15 […]
Warning: The following is to be read in a sarcastic tone. If you at any point in time find yourself agreeing with anything written here, please go sit in a dark room and think long and hard about your life. Just like most of America, I have been eagerly awaiting the 2012 presidential election. Our […]
