As a kid, we are told we can do anything we want. Obviously, this is not true. If it was, everyone would be a doctor, astronaut, fireman, or professional athlete. We would be in real trouble if our pipes clogged because NFL quarterbacks are not known for their plumbing abilities. As adults, our dreams are […]
Over the course of my lifetime, I have been to many sporting events. At sporting events you will find many things. There is always the person who is inappropriate on the jumbotron’s “Kiss Cam.” There is the fan who screams from the upper deck, nearly popping a blood vessel despite the fact that he is […]
Ah, the Super Bowl. Nothing is more American than this celebration of sport, gluttony and consumption. We all gather around our TV and shove massive quantities of food in our fat gobs for hours. Every year 1.2 billion chicken wings are consumed on this day. Why? Because football and poultry go hand in hand! Some […]
And now the exciting conclusion… We sat there throughout the game. Sure, I was enjoying the hockey, but I had destiny on my mind. With a minute left in the game, I gave my sister the top-secret ultra-hush-hush super-stealthy signal that it was time for my plan to be sat in motion. “Hey,” I said. “We […]
China does a lot of things right. Not toys or toothpaste or crayons (unless you have always wanted to increase the lead in your home), but there are things they are great at. You know, like gymnastics or naming delicious chicken dishes after generals. Unfortunately, the list of things they do well does not include […]
With the National Hockey League in a lockout, fans of the bloodiest and coldest sport around are left without entertainment. Throughout the country, you can hear the cries of the 4% of Americans who love hockey. You can also hear the sounds of disinterest from the rest of the 96%, but that 4% are pretty […]
Sports situation: During a baseball game this evening, the umpires made what many thought was a bad call. When a ball was hit into shallow left field, the umpire called it an infield fly despite the fact that the infielder could not “catch the ball with ordinary effort.” The crowd was very upset and […]
The NFL referee strike is over and it could not have happened soon enough. After the blown call this last Monday, commissioner Roger Goodell walked into work only to find he had 30,000 (not an exaggeration) phone messages waiting for him. When you have that many messages, you have either done something very good, something […]
It’s that time of the year again. Football has returned which means countless Sundays spent trying to explain to my wife why I insist on watch a bunch of grown men wear pads and hit each other. After the following conversation this last Sunday, I don’t think she gets it yet: Wife: Why did that […]
As a self-admitted sports nerd, I am very willing to watch most sports. Baseball, football, basketball are all consumed by me without hesitation. I have even watched sports I don’t really like (I’m talking to you, soccer) just because they are on. There is one, though, that I will never, ever, under any circumstance […]
