Dear Cashier At Krystal

Dear cashier at Krystal,

It was lunchtime and I was on the lookout for some cheap, tasty eats to shove down my gob. Unfortunately, cheap and tasty rarely go together. That’s why I found the cheap, least offensive option and chose your fine establishment.

When I arrived, I was not surprised to find a decent sized line. After all, the only other option in that vicinity is a Sonic and no one wants to eat at a restaurant that is too cheap to build an ACTUAL restaurant. I mean, I think you would agree that assuming everyone that wants a greasy, double bacon cheeseburger is lazy is a pretty hasty conclusion to jump to.

After waiting in the line for a very reasonable five minutes, I made my way to the register. This is the point at every fast food establishment where the cashier turns on an extra-fake smile and somehow works the phrase “chicken nugget” into what is supposed to be a greeting.

Instead, you said, “Oh GREAT! Of COURSE we get busy on the day that I’m tired!”

This caught me off guard. I didn’t know how to respond. Should I just tell you my order, or…

On the one hand, I admire your honesty. Nothing bugs me more than phoniness, so kudos to you. Plus, I am honored that you found me a worthy confidant, so much so that you could share this thought with me.

On the other hand, though, you seem to be confused. Having worked in the restaurant industry myself, I know that noon is usually a pretty popular time for people to eat. That’s because it is lunchtime, the only part of the day where people are allowed to stop working and eat. Well, everyone but you. Sorry to rub that in.

I guess what I would suggest is to learn the times of day people usually eat. It might help you be more prepared for the day. Also, next time say “Oh GREAT! Of COURSE we would get busy on the day that I’m tired! Unrelated thought, but would you care for something to eat?”

That would certainly alleviate awkwardness.

Love,
Nathan

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