English: A Hostess CupCake, shown whole. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
My worst fear has come true.
Well, maybe not worst fear. That would be a robot spider that can shoot lasers from each lens of its compound eyes. That would be terrible.
No, the fear of thousands of junk food eaters has come true. Hostess, the makers of Twinkies, Cupcakes, Ding Dongs, Ho Ho’s, Donettes, and Sno Balls has announced it will officially be closing. In a letter on their website, the company announced their intent to close down all Hostess and Wonder Bread factories and distribution centers.
It is truly sad. As a tribute, I have written a poem to everyone favorite deceased snack cake company.
So Long My Friend (An Ode To Hostess)
So long my friend, farewell to you.
We’ve been through thick and thin, tis true.
The times we’ve shared shall never fade
Until the end of my dying day.
I remember the sugar rush, so strong
Of my first package of Ding Dongs
Who could forget the Cupcake cream
That squished from that stale chocolate dream?
The powdered Donettes and pink Sno Balls,
Messes created from sugar that falls.
But never fear, you won’t regret it.
As long as you aren’t diabetic.
So farewell, my friend, I bid adieu.
Through the rest of my years, I shant forget you.
Just warning, though, you soon shall be replaced
By Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.
Related Articles
- Twinkie maker Hostess reaches the end of the line (seattlepi.com)
- Twinkies, Ho Hos & Ding Dongs Are Dunzo! Hostess Says It’s Going Out Of Business!!! (pinkisthenewblog.com)
- Twinkie maker Hostess reaches the end of the line (sfgate.com)
- Hostess to close, cites nationwide worker strike (sfgate.com)
- Hostess moves to liquidate after crippling strike (seattlepi.com)
- Ding Dongs and Twinkies no more? Have no fear. Food bloggers to the rescue. (csmonitor.com)
- no more hostess … (mom2nick.typepad.com)
- Ding Dongs And Twinkies Are Now Collector’s Items On eBay (webpronews.com)
- Hostess moves to shutter operations (mysanantonio.com)
- Twinkies, RIP? Ding Dongs Dead? Five Treats to Get You Through the Hostess Snack Cake Apocalypse (eonline.com)
Your Robot Spider phobia is much like my fears of the Robot Apocalypse, which I discuss frequently on my blog. Stay safe…
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It’s a conspiracy to fix America’s obesity problem. Next, they’ll outlaw couches.
Ding dong the ding dong is dead….
Now that is sad.
I’ve cried for hours, wondering what I’ll eat when the apocalypse comes. Do Little Debbie snacks last as long? What are we to do?
I would bet they last at least close to the same time period. Isn’t that the whole reason snack cakes exist? It certainly isn’t because they are great.