A button without a shank. I do not know what a shank is in this context, but rest assured I would not be able to sew this button onto anything.(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I am very good at a great number of things. Maybe not very good, but at the very least I am passable at several things.
As I went to get dressed this morning, I found that a button had fallen off of my shirt. “Drat!” I thought. After a couple of minutes spent trying to figure out why I would instinctively think of the word “drat,” I went to rectify the situation.
I hunted down a needle and thread and set to work. This would be easy, I thought. I had never sewn a button, much less anything else in my life, but I figured this would be another thing that I was passable at.
As it turns out, I am not passable at sewing buttons. Fat fingers are not conducive to small needles, thread, or tiny buttons. Put all three together, and it is the perfect storm for the sausage-fingered amongst us:
The Lost Button Fix (A Haiku)
Summon the thread spool!
Pointy needle, fat fingers.
YOW! BLOOD EVERYWHERE!
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First “drat” then “yow.” You remind me of Tom and Jerry.
Plus, when a mouse drops something heavy on my head, I have stars spin around it and I act woozy for a few seconds.
You were born in the wrong reality, I think
That haiku is very touching. The rest of the post was alright too. “wink” (spelled it out just for you, because I already felt a little sorry for you with the bloody fingers and so-so post. I didn’t want to annoy you further with a winking smiley face).
You could never annoy me with a winking face. Well, you could, but I wouldn’t be THAT annoyed.
Okay, thanks Nathan.
Regular smile:
Another wink:
How do you make a “rolling eyes” face? I thought you might relate to that one.
Here’s a sad one right?
Oh, sorry
You can make a straight face too right? :I
Alright, I’ll stop. :p
Well those too sucked.
Sorry, that should have been “two”
It’s late.
I’m on drugs.
Legal one’s.
They should make a druggie smiley face.
:Q
Here’s a prescription drug smiley face. :$
I should start trying to fall asleep. IO
That was supposed to be a sleeping smile…eye’s shut and snoring.
Night Nathan
That is an incredible amount of comments. I am very impressed.
Good.
I take that back. It’s not good that you are only impressed with the amount of comments. Stat junkie. The content is impressive. Didnt the druggie smiley face impress you? It is a smile with a joint in its mouth. The prescription one was funny too. The sleeping one was kind of stupid, but in theory it works.
). You don’t have to be impressed with that wink.
So, anyway…you know what impresses me? How I can always tell when you have posted something new because you reply to my replies. Sure it might be just because you are already online, and on WordPress, but I prefer to think that you know I wait up for your stuff (although I am often already up, I do look for yours around 10:00). So, you reply to my reply so that I specifically, will know you posted something new. (I’m narcissistic like that
It is very impressive. Over all, the vast number of smileys and the smileys themselves were very good.
Ok, that will work. Thanks.
These are buttons with shanks. It won’t make any difference in sewing, as a shank button does not influence the pointiness of a needle.
I don’t think there is anything that will make me able to sew, be it button, needle, thread, a sewing machine, anything. I am not a seamstress, or whatever the male equivalent to that would be. A seamster? Uh…
Beautiful poem! I like the gore and horror between the lines, a masterpiece!
Thank you. I couldn’t have said it better myself. This was a masterpiece. I applaud myself.