Image via Wikipedia
Tonight, a song from The Muppets is nominated for best original song at the Academy Awards. While the song was written by Bret McKenzie, one half of The Flight of the Conchords, the Muppets are sure to be hoping for a chance to take home some Oscar gold.
We have gotten hold of the awards acceptance speeches from each Muppet a bit early. If they win, here is what you can expect to hear:
Kermit
Well, this is a very pleasant surprise. I want to thank my good friend Jason Segel for making a movie with us. He is so nice. Isn’t he?
Miss Piggy
I want to thank moi, for without moi, this song would have been a disaster, isn’t that right, Keeerrrrmie?? (Kermit shakes his head).
Beaker
Beep Beep Beep!
The Swedish Chef
Thanks to murdah and duh der dee der dee… (Loses train of thought and chases a chicken with a cleaver. It is the second most violent murder attempt of the evening, the first being when Glenn Close tries to stab the entire cast of The Help for, once again, keeping her from getting an Oscar.)
Fozzie Bear
This is a great honor. All I can think of to say is what a dragon would say in this situation. Nothing, because dragons can’t talk! Wocka wocka wocka!
Animal
Osssscar! Osssssssssssccccaaarrr!
Gonzo the Great
In honor of this Oscar win, I shall attempt to eat the statuette. Maestro! (“Flight of the Bumblebees” plays. All the other Muppets stop Gonzo from eating the Oscar, knowing that it is bad for his digestive system and they would like to keep it.)
Sam the Eagle
This Oscar win is a great moment for me. All of my life, I have dreamed of a chance to hoist a trophy. Only in this great country could a simple eagle like myself receive this opportunity. (The Star Spangled Banner begins to play.) As a child, I remember seeing William Shakespeare’s classic The Sound of Music at my local theatre. It was then that I knew I wanted to be in show business. I’m happy to be able to share my gift with each and everyone of these great 48 states and bring joy to so many children. Being with so many distinguished members of the Hollywood community like my favorite actor Martin Scorsese is an honor and a privilege. Kids, this goes to show you that in America, you can do anything. As long as you work hard, your life will be as solid as this very stage. (Stage collapses underneath him.)
Can someone get Billy Crystal to fix this?
Related articles
- The Muppets’ Music Man Bret McKenzie on His Oscar Nod and Taking a Silly Job Seriously (popsugar.com)
- The Muppets Talk Oscar Nominated Song (shoppingblog.com)
- The Muppets Won’t Host or Sing, But They Will Present at the Oscars (slashfilm.com)
- 10 Fun Muppet Facts You Probably Don’t Know (geek-news.mtv.com)
I saw the Man or Muppet song on the list of nominees and misread one teensy weensy word. Needless to say, it transformed into a very different kind of awards show for a very different kind of film. I’m not sure I’ll be able to look Gonzo in the eye tonight.
Dang, I was kind of hoping for a little acceptance speech from Statler and Waldorf. They are my favourites.
Ay, you got it perfect! Although I have to agree with Sandra, you should have included a bit from Statler and Waldorf at the end. But you were really spot on with all the personalities. Are you secretly a staff writer for the Muppets?
I wish. I could use that Muppet money.
Not sure where you come up with this stuff, but its always so entertaining readying what you have to say.
You’re never out of ideas when you think like a mental patient.
LOL… that is def true!!!! guess I need to talk to my biologicial mother to get some ideas then…
REally…. you have some great posts man!
i liked the statement of THE SWEDISH CHEF the most… but where is you statement Nathan?
I’m no Muppet, therefore I am not allowed to have a statement for their speech.
Moving speeches…all of them. The muppets are such inspirational characters. Why can’t more real people be like them?
I’ve always wondered that. Although, the way some of my jokes go over, I do occasionally feel like Fozzie Bear.
Not even close Nathan, I still think about you Chocolate Milk PMS post every time I’m hormonal…um sorry, you might not have wanted to hear that.
*your, sorry
You captured the heart of the Muppets!!! Wow, it’s like it really happened. great going!
Thank you. As always, you have made my post sound less horrible than it really is. If I ever write a book, I’m going to get you to write the blurb on the back cover.
Quite the honour, I would love to! thank you. And horrible posts? Not. Quality all the way..terrific human being title…well earned my friend.